Sometimes you just have to jump and hope the landing isn't too hard.
In 2019 I started a podcast called The Holistic Healing Connection. It was going really well and I was loving being a podcast host. I love talking with people and asking questions (I was born to be a podcaster!). Then 2020 hit....and we all know how that went.
I'm sure you can probably relate to my experience or at least a couple aspects of it. All of a sudden I was stuck in a 700 sq. ft. apartment with my husband working from home in our bedroom, and our daughter doing school from the kitchen table; and the world felt like it was falling apart outside our cozy little pandemic cave. Our family lost half or our income (mine) overnight, and what used to be my work time, turned into full time homemaker/virtual learning coach. It was taking every ounce of my energy to keep us all from going crazy.
(I think I mentioned we lived in 700 sq. ft. when this hit!)
So, obviously continuing my podcast was out.
I felt like we were in straight up survival mode - prepping for the zombie apocalypse. For the first few months, my family and I were a rollercoaster of emotions and adapting. We were also prepping to move, as 700 sq. ft. felt like 200 after a couple months of being stuck there. Besides this was supposed to be a temporary home anyway - not our pandemic shelter.
Over time, my ambition started to show up again, but the small space, no office, and current situation of hanging out with a nine year old 24/7 was making it really hard to focus on my career again. In addition to that, I was also a homeschool teacher for the first time. So, I tabled my career and podcast goals for awhile to focus on mine and my families mental health. And, it paid off!
Somewhere around the beginning of fall in 2020, after moving and getting settled into a larger home (with an office space), I started getting my ambition and creativity back. But, I wasn't the same Amber I was in March. This year has grown and changed me in ways I could have never imagined.
I feel like I've become a better leader, a more involved mother, and shed huge parts of my professional identity that had just become "too much". Through therapy, energy healing, and tons of self-help I've gotten more in-touch with a side of me that had always been overshadowed by healer, coach, and entrepreneur. I am an inspirational trauma survivor, an adventurer, a storyteller, a conversationalist, an introvert, and a MacGyver at life. I get charged up by helping others through challenges - small and large. I love sharing my stories of overcoming trauma and other life challenges, with the hopes that it will help and inspire others going through something similar. People are comforted by knowing that they are not alone. I wanted a way to help people feel comforted.
The Dragonfly Momma wanted to come out and play!
That's when I knew immediately that I wanted to change my whole podcast focus and name. The world needs more inspiration and hope right now, and that's what this my new podcast is all about - to remind people that we can all do hard things and doing those things will often result in growth.
Once the new idea was solid, I couldn't wait to get started. I scheduled some guests, made the graphics, rebranded, and updated everything on my podcast host platform. But, what I didn't take into account was editing and splicing all the parts together. Yeah, sometimes, my creative mind lags in syncing up to my logical mind.
I fretted and worried about this, because unlike pre-pandemic times, an assistant isn't something in the budget any longer. I realized I would not be able to get help for this task, no matter how hard I tried to "manifest it". So, I reminded myself of who I am - The Dragonfly Momma. I can do hard, scary things. This is nothing!
As a recovering perfectionist, this was challenging and a bit scary for me. With all the inspirational posts about perfection and not waiting in my head, I went ahead and started recording. And, that's when I realized how rusty I was at talking to people, adult people...and on a mic. OMG! I was so nervous (and my first interview was a friend even). But, I did it (and you all get to hear it, sorry); and then I did another, then another; and eventually the nerves settled and now I can say, I've officially gotten my groove back.
Editing is a whole other can of worms. So, here I am figuring it out as I go. Story of my life. So, far my editing and splicing skills leave much to be desired, but the episodes are what they are, and they're ready to be published. They might totally flop, but I'm truly ok with it. I loved sharing my story and hearing the inspiring stories I've recorded so far. If only a handful of people listen to them, and benefit from our words, it'll be worth it. I'm proud of myself for not waiting for perfection - choosing courage over comfort.
If 2020/2021 has taught us anything: it's to not take things for granted, and that everything can change in an instant. Don't wait for perfection. The time is now.